September 1, 2014

Denim On Denim

{wearing Sperry top-sider loafers, Persona bracelet, DIY tie dye shorts, Madewell shirt}

Hope you guys had a great Labor Day weekend. I went shopping and spent way too much money (including this pair of shoes I'm wearing here) that I felt bad and returned some purchases today. And now I seem compelled to tell the internet this.

Some friends come and go. Other friends turn into lovers then turn into strangers. It's stupid to forgive and forget someone after they have hurt you especially when they haven't changed one bit and show no remorse. Fool me once shame on you and fool me twice shame on me.

I know girls who are in relationships because the guy pays for the bills. I know girls who are in relationships because they need to be assured that they are loved by a guy at all times. I know girls who are having sex with guys because they feel that they ought to. I know girls who fall into believing that if they don't have love from a guy, they have nothing else.

Because too many people have been abandoned by their supposed friends. Because too many people have been let down by those who are supposed to be their nurturers. Because if someone gives them the attention and love now and even if it is purely conditional and temporary, it is still better than having no attention and love right now.

But nobody can love yourself like you can. Nobody can give you the security and confidence you need but yourself. And nobody but you is responsible for those, either.

August 28, 2014

Indecision


We can choose the paths we want to take, but we can't have it all.

When I graduated from University my ex at that time, Steve, was from a very rich family. He asked me to move to San Francisco to be his personal assistant and he would finance me, then eventually we would get married. In exchange I would never have to work a "real" 9-5 job again. I broke up with him because I chose to stay in Canada for a career job.

I chose to have my own career instead of the life of financial support from a man because I don't want my 'pay' to be dependent on my husband's mood and I want the freedom to buy what I want when I want instead of 'asking' first. I understand that my latter option with Steve was more breezy and as socially acceptable, but this was and is still my choice.


Over the past few years, I have been in other relationships that involved me moving for a guy. Each time I chose my job over them. We've all experienced how difficult it is to get a full time job in this economy and even more so to get a full time job with great benefits and salary. Given that I like my job and it is well paid with good benefits, I just have not met a guy I feel I would quit my job over.

Since dating Steve, I have worked and acquired multiple properties on my own. But while I am financially secure, I have been neglecting to pursue a family life. This was a personal choice I made. And while all of my female friends are now engaged and married, I'm still in the dating scene. This is my consequence, but I don't regret it. It is what it is.


This past week, the decision arose again. I am given an opportunity to work at a great company. The job position is fantastic and it would open doors for my future career, but it would require me to move back to the west coast and move to USA. This means I would have to give up everything with my personal life and once again, move to a city and start all over again.

And what about ever settling down and starting a family?


As a woman, after we graduate in our 20's, we can either choose to pursue to have a family or pursue a career against our biological clock. Both take time and energy. "I think one can have a career and a family", an acquaintance told me a few weeks ago. "Perhaps she was right?" I thought. But when I think about her, she has the luxury to work a non-conventional job as a hobby because her husband owns a successful business, unlike me who has to work to pay for mortgage and bills.

It sounds so cheesy, creating your own path and facing its reward and consequences. The Pepsi CEO said it well that she doesn't think "women can have it all" when the interviewer asks her about work-life balance. Her interview really spoke to me.

I still don't know what I decision I will make.

August 25, 2014

Everything Cranberry

{wearing Billabong dress, Havaianas sandals, Ray Ban Wayfarer}

On the way to Maniwaki around Gracefield, Quebec we came across a cranberry farm on the side of the highway. It was random and the only reason I noticed it was because of the pond of red. From afar it looked like a pond of blood so of course I had to stop and take some pictures of it. A normal pond is nothing really worth blogging about but a pond that could pass for a mass murder is something else. It was my first time visiting a cranberry farm and it was definitely a neat experience.

August 23, 2014

Mercedes-Benz Start Up 2014

Photos by me

This past week I went to check out the Mercedes-Benz Start Up competition, where local designers compete for a chance to win $30,000 bursary and a chance to showcase at the Toronto's World MasterCard Fashion Week next march. There was a lot of minimalism, leather trims and dark hues on the runway- something to be expected for the upcoming cold weather. Congrats to Vaiken (pictures 2-5) for winning the Ottawa chapter, it was well deserved!