February 25, 2010

Jesus Walks, DJs and Apparaently Sings too

Because being a DJ and sticking your pee-pee in a dried up prune is just not enough for little Jesus, Madonna is packing his diaper bag and sending him to the recording studio.

Jesus signed to Warner Bros and his first single “We Came From Light” will be out this summer. A source told The Sun:

"Madonna really wants Jesus's career to take off. She's been going through her Filofax and putting him in contact with as many of her influential pals as she can."

Remember when Naomi Campbell tried to sing? That was a huge mess. It’s really a simple history lesson that models shouldn’t open their mouth unless they’re doing some “long term non-collateralized investment” aka giving out oral sex in Jesus's case. Becoming a stripper is just “exploring the possibilities”, the government robbing from their people is just “HST Tax” and committing fraud is just “storytelling”.

See, when you re-brand bad things you do the world is suddenly your oyster.