Here are some pictures of Taylor Swift from Blender back when she wasn’t as famous. Taylor sings about boys and unicorns and very well represents the new American sweetheart image. So if John Mayer actually humped Taylor he is probably going to hell. And he might as well stick his peen and hump a couple of bald eagles after.
Even though I’m from Canada, I pick the eagle because Canadian Geese are just annoying creatures that sh*t too much. And John Mayer has stuck his “White Supremacist” peen in enough beavers as is. Zing!