May 27, 2010

Jessica Simpson in Mermaid Dress

Jessica Simpson is dressing like a sexy merman here at the Grace Awards Gala. But that's ignore Jess for a second and focus on the gem in the background. Check out that woman’s face when she is looking like Jessica. It’s the same look I gave a homeless man who held a sign that says “The End Is Near” down my street over the weekend.

Notice I said merman. Cuz mermaids are not suppose to built like they can play for the National Football League. How does a merman work? It’s half person on top and half fish on bottom? If so how do they reproduce? Unless they have it the other way around, where a merman is half fish on top and half man on bottom. That’s just gross but at least they can get the job done while flapping their fin arms.


  1. hahaha
    i just love your sense of never fails to make me laugh

    it really is pretty gross to think of a half-fish on top & half human at the bottom

    & LOL about THE LOOK

    can't stop laughing!

  2. Hey :)

    LOL!......the Mike Phelps' pic is really what made me just shake my head. It does sound unsettling, but of course WHY is there always somebody who's turned on by such thangs?! - next thing you know they're being all "extra" Ha. And also lol @ homeless guy with "the end is near..." thinking at the point, "ummm, do you mean your end?...cause obviously" Ha,...on random, I would be the crazy person that believes (for whatever ODD reason) most people who end up homeless were once rich, Ha. Must be that one movie with Lesley Ann Warren and whatshisface, stirring in my mind - of course it's JUST A MOVIE. It was a good one :)

    Btw, I would like to do a blog interview of you in the month of June... :) Just let me know :)

    Have a groovy day :)

  3. She has bulked up, but at least her dad is still proud of her busom. Yuk! It really used to gross me out when he talked about his daughters bodies.

    I always thought mer-people probably reproduced like fish, which really limits the options for any sort of human and mer-person interaction.

  4. Merman hahaha..nice invention julie! uhm..I think the dress is very UN-flattering (is that the right word?)for her. or is it simply because she is bigger? either way...bad choice :p

  5. Hey girl~ know what? it's fun to read your posts and lots of comments here on your all made my day =) yeah,[LOL] look at that woman on the background! and I think, Jess is happy for what she looks or feels right now.she might be one of those who feels like, i have to be myself and they have to accept what i am.nice post,love it! keep it up! xoxo

  6. Dude....she is prego? like no seriously, what happened to that Dukes of Hazzard body?! she's left "slightly pudgy" and venturing into plus sizes now xD

  7. Jessica's body is definitely changing...not sure if it's the aging process or if she's resigned herself to give up yo-yo starvation dieting. (getting that thin for Dukes of Hazzard could NOT have been easy.)
    For some reason I think I like her now more than ever..but not because of her weight. She seems like she's less high maintenance and diva-like than in the past...

  8. LOL at merman. From the side view, she looks preggo! I dont understand why she keeps on picking skintight unflattering outfits. ~sigh~ I cant help but feel bad for her.

  9. she'd be a lot prettier if she weren't so dumb. such a shame.

  10. Okay, from the front I think she kinda looks like Drew Barrymore in the picture. Lol.

  11. LOL at the merman :D. She looks so different...

  12. Her face looks a bit different o_O That lady in the background looks like she's giving a " oh no she didn't" look xD

  13. 1 Jessica looks fat
    2 ROTFL @ the merman sex joke

  14. In theory I like this dress, the color is great, but she didn't pull it off with the elegance the dress would have deserved.
    p.s. you should try a one piece! They are so much more sexy than they used to be! As long as you switch it up with a 2-piece the tan lines shouldnt be that bad! xoxo

  15. tehe cool dress and the merman thought made me laugh and then creeped me out XD

  16. Lmao!! You trip me out.... you're so silly. She is built like a line backer and every since she came out saying she don't brush her teeth everyday... I been giving that bitch the side eye lol

  17. This comment "Notice I said merman. Cuz mermaids are not suppose to built like they can play for the National Football League" had me DYING on the floor laughing.

    You got to give the girl a high five or at least trying.

  18. Omg! This is hilarious! XD I thought she's preggers at first. Lmao at the 'look' and 'flapping their fin arms'

    N hey thanks for dropping by :)


  19. i kinda like this dress..she has definitely been putting on weight. i feel kinda bad for her though bc people are kinda mean sometimes to her...

  20. You're hilarious. :P Jessica has all the potential to be a lovely girl. I just wish she wore less makeup and dressed a lil classier and acted a little less ditzy...sigh. But then I guess that wouldn't make her Jessica Simpson. That would make her normal.

  21. i wish i could say it looks amazing on her,..but truth is the dress's fit is quite unflattering ;T

  22. so great to meet you too yesterday! thanks so much for coming, and sorry we couldn't chat longer, jam packed night!

    now to j.s.... yikes. not the most flattering dress is it?? ho hum...



  23. ohhh nooo...her makeup and hair looks really nice but the dress is a no no for her.

  24. what happened? she used to be so sexy, but for what it's worth, I like her makeup & do. =D

    BTW, I wish my BF can take my pictures! He's just too lazy when it comes to cameras. Lucky you! LOL.

  25. lmao omg you are so bad haha

    Well i don't think she looks horrible but she def doesnt have the body she use to.. but she seems more happy now

  26. Hey :)

    I email you RE: Blog Interview :)

  27. lol.funny.hehe:)
    and jess look fat.

    and btw,i think all reality show mostly won by man.crystal should win yesterday.frustrated.


  28. Oh no! I wish she chose another dress >.<

  29. That lady's look is priceless. Jessica, not the dress for you. Nooooo.

  30. i actually don't hate her..but..that dress..yiiiikes. not flattering.

  31. oh and i meant to mention..that lady's face makes up for the outfit. LOL

  32. LOL... Merman.

    I think it's quite sad how she's changed ever since her divorce with Nick. She's put on a lot of weight. I thought she was really pretty before and didn't think of her as much as a dumb blonde. I still try to give her the benefit of the doubt but she still doesn't seem like one of the brightest crayons in the box. =/

    <3s Serena.

  33. I think she looks really good. She has good shapes in her body that makes her more feminine.

    B* a la Moda

  34. Well yes that dress looks kinda weird. And Merman! Lol. Nice one. And oh gee that's kinda gross thinking about it! Haha.

  35. This is hilarious - that lady looks a bit odd to say the least. As for Jessica - I agree that her figure has changed, but she can carry it off - I think she looks healthy, sexy and every bit a woman now. Not so keen on the dress she's wearing, though. I think it's not flattering for her figure. Happy weekend, sweetie;-)

  36. hahaha! you made me laugh!

  37. Lol! Poor Jessica! She hasn't done a great job of dressing "her" body well these days :(

  38. That dress does not look good on her! Sorry, Jess!

  39. Haha yeah that lady sure is giving Jessica an interesting look!
    Hmmm I like Jessica's makeup here and her hair is nice - well that bff of her's (Ken Paves) is great with hair so I'm not surprised. I'm not sure why her weight is fluctuating like 20 lbs on and off (or what looks like it at least :\ ).

  40. hahaha! I didn't even notice you wrote 'merman' until you mentioned it :p

    funny coz your merman description reminded me of one of the Family Guy episodes :P

  41. Is she pregnant? Her tummy is huuge! Thanks soo much for sharing! I loove your blog!

  42. Oh man I mean, its okay that she's a little bigger, but does she really have to do the "look over the shoulder" pose? Isn't that pose reserved for the Bobble head dolls of Hollywood to show off their stick arms? For Jessica all I see is neck fat :(

  43. lawl she looks like a sea cow. the sea is optional.
    i watched her on the tonight show earlier and she just never fails to amaze me with her airheadedness..

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