October 14, 2010

Jessica Alba Says She's Got Saggy Boobs And Not Hot in GQ

Morning and I'm back from Toronto! Everything will resume to normal starting today. To start off here are some pictures of the bundle of joy Jessica Alba in GQ Magzine (I know, I'm a bit behind) along with an interview in which she calls herself ugly with saggy boobs:

Jessica Alba on how she's considered a symbol of sexy: "I don't get it. Every actress out there is more beautiful than me."

Jessica Alba on her post-baby body: "Way more comfortable, since I had a baby. I'm far less self-conscious now I have her to worry about. There's something so amazing about having a child. My breasts are saggy, I've got cellulite, my hips are bigger, but I love it."

"every actress is more beautiful” and “saggy boobs and cellulite" riiight. I know where she is getting with this. No, I really do. Jessica Alba reminds me of this boner-killer at work where when she has nothing to do she would come to my cube, put on a stink face and say useless things like "YOU'RE SOO SKINNNNY!". I never understood what she was trying to get out of that. Should I have just replied with "oh, hello to you too", Or "yeah, I puke in the bathroom after lunch everyday"? Or does she want me to tip her for her so-called-compliment and her stink face?

It would have been less awkward if boner-killer had said to me something along the lines of "I feel like a fug" then at least I know to vomit her back with bs such as "no, you are the highest form of beauty with a sparkling personality. You never had a boyfriend since we’ve met because your kind of beauty and personality resembles so close to the celestial world that no guys would understand." which would then probably cause me to start dry heaving sitting in my office chair. Come and think of it, the skinny comment is probably the better choice.