December 1, 2010

A "Feel Better About Yourself" Post

After North Korea attacked South Korea, Miss Universe 1996 Alicia Machado used her Twitter to ask her followers to pray for the Chinese. THE CHINESE:

"Tonight I want to ask you to join me in a prayer for peace, that these attacks between the Chinas do not make our situation worse."

Alicia decided to close her Twitter after getting a few spazzes from her followers calling her el retardo in some form or another. But since stupidity has no boundaries, Paulina Rubio picked up the el retardo torch and finished the marathon with:

"Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country"

Huh. How did the Japanese get dragged into this fuckery again? Anyways, now Alicia is defending her statement with:

"I was not wrong, I do not make any mistakes. What I did was ask a prayer of good faith for the conflict that is happening in Asia. I said it in a very informal way and was misinterpreted. Obviously, I know there is conflict between North Korea and South Korea. It was just a funny way to refer to the entire Asian continent. Like when we say 'Look at that Gringo' and turns out that he's Canadian. We call Chinese to everyone who looks Asian. That's what I meant."

You know, I love it when smart asses get what’s coming for them. I once dated this dude, Dash, who thinks that he’s sooo smart. He used to use absurd words when we talked and made me look them up in the dictionary, constantly talked about smart math stuff and asked me wtf questions so he could “teach” me the answer. Dash was also too smart to get a driver’s license so I drove his smart ass everywhere. And he was too smart to pay for my meals. Eventually I just didn’t cut it for him because I was not smart enough. So my dumb ass and I moved on to another piece and I forgot about Dash until last week when I saw on his Facebook that he knocked up some chick, got himself a bastard child and too smart to get a “real job”. And you know what I’m just dying to say to him? “Hi Dash. You thought I was dumb. But at least I’ve been smart enough to not get knocked up.” Zing-a-ding-ding!

Now I want to ask you to join me in a prayer for the Koreans. I feel bad for my Chinese Hairdresser and I hope that her family is safe from the terrorist attacks in Iran. Thank you.

Special thanks to LoveK for letting me guest post on her blog today! Read "What I love about Christmas" here!