May 6, 2013

Offically A Couple



{Photos via Tumblr, Pinterest}

So I'm dating someone, still the same person back on Valentines day. Things are great, it hasn't been that long but we're into each other, and he makes me happy. Then I had a talk with a girlfriend and she brought this up: What makes a couple officially a couple?

I used to think that you don't need the talk, until last year when I dated a guy whom I always had a great time with until I brought it up. He said he had "commitment issues" and "needed more time". So I gave him months. But turned out he was looking to move but didn't tell me because he liked having someone around meanwhile. Some people are just that selfish and inconsiderate.

So, I learned that a talk is needed.

Then there's the relationship status on Facebook. I think it's cute. But a status update isn't going to make a relationship anymore solid if you're looking for relationship reassurance. You hear people being unfaithful on Facebook all the time.

I had a fight with an ex because I wouldn't put myself in a relationship with him on Facebook. To me, why should the whole world know? And how many Facebook friends are actually real friends? Most people are just nosy. Eventually I changed it because it was important to him. That was 5+ years ago, my relationship status has been undisclosed since.

For those lovey-da couples on facebook...

Everyone secretly make fun of your public pet name calling and flirting wall posts. Everyone roll their eyes at your 1000th wedding photo you post from your wedding almost a year ago. Do you have nothing going on other than your relationship? Are you that possessive that you need to mark yourself all over someone? Do you think Prince William and Kate Middleton ever did things like that in public? No, because they're classy.

And for those that go from "in a relationship" to "complicated" to "single" back to "in a relationship" with updates of "I love being single!" to "Had a great weekend with (name of guy supposedly broke up with)!" to "Finally got rid of the drama!" all in a span of a few weeks... Stop Taylor-Swift-Embarrassing yourself. I'm embarrassed for you when you show up on my Newsfeed.

I don't know where I'm getting at with this post. I guess what I'm trying to say is that one day when I find my status become "in a relationship" on Facebook, I know my shit just got serious.

33 comments:

  1. This is such a interesting yet funny post for me.
    While i was reading it. I remembered my self back then talking with friends about this facebook status relationship stuff. I even told them the same "To me, why should the whole world know?" LOL

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  2. This is why I don't have Facebook. Not only do I not want to hear about people's roller foster of relationships I also don't care what they had for breakfast or how drunk they got last Friday.

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  3. i love all the photos especially the message in the alice in wonderland one. i totally agree with what you said about facebook! i hope you're having a lovely weekend xxx

    I left my heart in Miami

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  4. First yay for being official! I used to not be into the FB status stuff either, I would just leave the relationship status blank and let people guess. But then I met my now husband and HE wanted to make it official in every way possible. And I thought... now that's different, a guy who wants the whole world to know he cares for me? I'll take it. And now we're happily married! :)

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  5. Yaaaaay! So happy for you. Anyway, don't mind what others may say. Just do what you guys feel like doing. Whether or not you want to declare it on the world wide web or you know just between the two of you, it's fine! As long as you guys both know that you're on the same page, that's all that matters. I had an ex before who didn't want to make "us" go public on fb, which I found weird at that time but later on it turned out that he wasn't READY for a commitment that's why he didn't want to declare it to everyone. Oh well, to each their own. Anyway, just go with the flow and its always best to have open communication especially when you guys are just starting out as a couple. So there won't be much misunderstanding and all that.

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  6. I absolutely love this post. You are seriously the best. Happy for ya girl!

    xoxo
    Juliette Laura
    http://juliettelaura.blogspot.com

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  7. Congrats on the new relationship!

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  8. I don't know if I would care to say if I'm single or in a relationship on FB. I do want my friends to know that I'm dating. But I hate be one of those couples. I completely understand not wanting to share every personal detail. Congrats btw!

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  9. Two people are officially (and permanently) a couple once it's chiseled in stone--which doesn't usually happen until they're buried side-by-side or in matching urns.

    Just kidding--that's supposed to be a joke. I think people are a couple as soon as it's understood they're only dating each other. But don't listen to me. That sort of thinking is probably what led to me getting married at 21. And that's no joke! :)

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    1. LOL, I agree actually. Till your ashes mix in the urn then you're probably a couple in this lifetime. Till then, everything is actually your choice! Good luck :)

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  10. Hahah, I fully heartily agree about those statuses. My fiancee and I contemplated on changing out relationship status once we got engaged, eventually we did, but didn't want to make a big fuss over it. It turned into a bigger thing than it should have been, but oh well we are happy and that's all that matters.
    Congrats to being in a relationship! Happy for you!

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  11. I definitely think there needs to be a talk- you both need to verbally say what you want out of the friendship/relationship and set limits. Sadly, I've dated a guy who ended up cheating on me and said it was okay because we weren't "officially back together". Sad, but true!

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  12. Hahahaha Taylor-Swift-embarrassing-yourself! I love it! I may have to steal that quote...so good! And you are so right about Facebook...I'm married and I have my relationship status up, but I try to avoid all that annoying relationship stuff...so unnecessary!

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  13. This post honestly made my day! Love this line "Stop Taylor-Swift-Embarrassing yourself" The only time I ever changed my FB Status was when I got married to my husband. ^_^
    Stop Taylor-Swift-Embarrassing yourself

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  14. That's cute. Glad everything is going well with you.

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  15. "What about Facebook officialness? I mean, it's okay if you don't wanna change it, I guess...."
    I was tricked into changing my status through guilt. On the same day that we had the talk.

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  16. Wow, I am so happy for you!!! I hope this relationship works out.

    Paragraph two: I think you are very smart for identifying the motivation of your old ex in that relationship. After several years of reflecting back (for me) it really boils down to if you found someone who is gentle, kind and has genuine love and acceptance for you as a person first then as a girlfriend/wife. This is regardless of finding the right man who has the right job, the right income, the right family, the same interesst, perfect compatibility etc... I think these things are important maybe, but really, by far, secondary.

    Good luck and keep us updated! I would love to see the 1000th photo of your wedding. ;) I'm sure it will be gorgeous!

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  17. I love this post! That is so true!

    Vanessa

    http://thepinkmateproject.blogspot.com/

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  18. Facebook is an effing pain in the arse. I'd cringe and people's consistent relationship status change and verbal "fuck you bitch/dick" posts. Initially I didn't want my relationship posted on facebook, but all sorts of issues rised to the point where I had to initiate a status update for my partner and I. I guess the bottom line ism if your partner is faithful, they will be faithful no matter what relationship status or social network they are on or not on. I respect those relationship. WIsh you the best.

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  19. I've been married a year and a half and I still haven't updated that on facebook, nor changed my surname on it. I'm just "in a relationship" which I am, I'm just married to him. I can't be bothered with it in all honesty as I don't think facebook should have any role in what a person's love life is.

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  20. Honestly I don't update my relationship status on FB - it's a waste of time and I don't see a point in it. I mean.. I've gone through my bouts of unrequited love and it hurts a little to see people's relationship statuses but that's me. I'm in a great relationship now though, so that's what matters. Commitment issues are also tricky. I'm not at that stage at my life where I'm looking for someone to settle down with, so I can't make any judgements, but at the end of the day, while me and my other half are going places in the future (he's starting college!), I sincerely hope that we'll *both* work hard to sort out any issues we have and stick by our promises.

    Good luck with the BF, Julie! I wish you all the best in this. You definitely have so much more class than Taylor Swift ;) x

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  21. I definitely think the talk is important, but not as much for others to share on facebook as for the two in the relationship.

    7% Solution​

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  22. I'm happy for you! Good luck! :)
    I also hate relationship status on FB...When I got engaged,my fiancé insisted on making it official on FB( I didn't even have in a relationship status before). I resisted but eventually I changed it because it was important to him. And before,he was really annoying with posting love songs on my wall every day but thank God he stopped :)

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  23. Facebook official = intense. I've never done it, because I hate the idea of several hundred people getting a pop-up saying I"m single and thus obviously been broken up with. Ha. So I just purposely leave it alone.

    That said - pleased for you that the Valentine fellow is turning out to be a winner!

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  24. Haha, cute! I'm very happy for you in your new official relationship, and yes, communication is essential! Gosh, I hardly even use my FB account anymore! :) xx/Madison

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  25. Congratulations! :)

    I agree - the majority of people on Facebook probably aren't even real friends, and are mostly just nosy. I don't post my relationship status on Facebook either, because I feel that if people know, they should know because they actually know me in real life and we make an effort with each other - not because I decided to let the whole world know on a site where people can stalk you with next to no effort.

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  26. Glad things are going well :-)

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  27. Congratz!! I think this is a very important topic, honestly, especially about actually confirming what kind of relationship you are actually in. I know someone who assumed she was dating a guy for almost 4 years because they never actually talked about their relationship, only to find out that they weren't dating when he showed up with his fiance one day. Communication is they key.

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  28. congratulations and i'm so agreeing with what you said! and that prince william & kate middleton example is just dang right lol ;) great post!

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  29. You know what, Facebook is fun and all but certain personal things, it's good that only you know. If you are really in a good relationship some day, you will be so occupied with enjoying the company and have no time to update all these status till much later when things are more settled =)

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