September 18, 2013

Reoccurring Dream



{Photos by Sabrina}

Lately I've been having a reoccurring dream where my ex is hanging out and no matter how much I yell or wave I can't get his attention. I think that perfectly describes how I felt at the end of our relationship. I don't give it any thought most days so it's weird that I'm dreaming it.

A lot of people mistaken compatibly with love. They have a checklist when they date. The list consist things such as what type of job the mate should have, how they look, what asset they own and what type of family they are from.

These people will never be capable of loving someone.

They are too busy comparing you to a list, converting your personality into a points system and analyzing you as an overall score. These people think that because they have a respectable job, a house, a car, and you have a respectable job, a house, a car, and they find you decent looking, then you to must date and like each other. Eventually, after long enough, you two will get married. Why not? On paper you two look good together, you are compatible. What more is there?

But love is more. You can't describe why you love someone. You can say that they make you feel alive, they comfort you, and they bring out the best in you. But you can't describe how they do these things. You just know. You are comfortable being vulnerable with them, telling them things that would destroy you if others find out, but trusting that they keep it safe. You can call them at the shittest hours because you had a shitty day, and though they can't make your situation better, you feel comfort. You feel their support regardless to whether they agree with your decisions. And they put you first and treat you the same regardless to how much money you make or how hot or ugly you look that day.

26 comments:

  1. Oh Poppy x I want to give you a hug! Xx

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  2. If you really love someone, things like a car, or looks don't matter. Oh, and I love your shoes!

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  3. This is interesting, because sometimes I can't put it into words why I love my husband. I just do. He does a lot for me and I just appreciate that I know he loves me through his actions. You look very nice by the way and I love that bag!
    xx Easy Outfits, by Pip

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  4. So true. My husband works for the government. He makes pretty good money. However, when we met online, I knew nothing of this! But I was attracted to him (I thought he worked on cars) and totally would have married him no matter what his job! I make under poverty level with my job, and he still married me. Love is blind. Love is trust and hard work too, its not all roses. Every day I make the decision to love my husband no matter what. Even if he hurts me with an indiscretionate remark. (one time he told me "your wearing that? you look like a highlighter" lol) Even when he doesn't understand me. Even when he farts in bed and wakes me up. I still choose love.

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  5. Its funny how we can not think about someone for ages while we're awake, and then our subconscious hits us with them in our sleep. I used to get that with my ex too. You're right on love though. Its not a tangible, listable thing.

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  6. Amen! I've dated guys that were suppose to be everything and they all turned out to be nightmares. HaHaHa I think that's why so many relationships fail today. They're in love with what the person has, instead of who the person truly is. I hope you find true love. You're a lovely girl. Really pretty outfit and I love your purse.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  7. Wow!! Love that outfit!! You look super cute hun :)
    xx

    Eli

    www.acurlystyle.blogspot.com

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  8. This is so eloquent and true. But really, you should forget him!

    Skype date soon? It sounds like we have a lot to catch up on.

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  9. Fab outfit love those shoes!

    SSSx
    www.stylestreetstalker.com

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  10. I have a sister-in-law like that. Only wanted to date guys who drove nice cars, then looked for a guy who was going to have a certain type of career. She married a jerk and, honestly, it was great they found each other--instead of making nice people miserable. They're divorced now.
    I joke, but I agree with you 100% on love...and it applies to friendship too. My biggest disappointments at work involved people I thought were good friends, but they turned out to only be interested I how I could help them with their work or careers. It's doubly offensive because I'm happy to help people, there was no need to be phony. I guess some people can't help themselves.

    You always look pretty...the person you are is a big part of that.

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  11. Some great insightful thoughts on love. I'm still not very wise on this, but I know you're right on the list. Love conquers a checklist every time!

    Anyway, love your print skirt and that adorable pink bag :)

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

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  12. I expect that people are so busy/comfortable today with their 9-5 routine this and that, after hours routine, they are not willing to take risks to step out of that comfort zone long enough to feel alive and vulnerable enough to risk creating something toyally unexpected, amazing, but that sounds more like passion than love, we are creatures of habit after all, i know that for me after having had a kind of life where everything fit and needed to fit together 'security was included' and finally having enough of all that, in french they say 'to love life like a thief' now i live for myself first, but the day i meet someone that has something, you know that something that pulls at you from the inside and you just don't want it to let go, then...

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  13. I think you have some incredibly poignant thoughts on love and romance. I've seen your cynicism a lot, but this was a little different.

    7% Solution

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  14. Beautiful outfit! I adore your heels and skirt.


    -Vogue&Heels
    www.vogueandheels.com

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  15. you look so pretty, love your shoes! xx

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  16. Hey babe, you are so right, love is definitely more than just ticking off a checklist. Hugs! Hope you are feeling alright and I hope you will have a sweet dream tonight!

    Fang Ting
    ftashion

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  17. Such a cute printed skirt :) And yes, love is so important and rarely ever logical :)


    Away From The Blue

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  18. WOW love your outfit and you look great!! And love the post!!
    My Lyfe ; My Story
    @MyLyfeMyStory ♥ ♥

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  19. Love has reasons that reason does not understand. My mom would keep on reminding me not to maintain a high standards in terms of choosing a type of guy to date because she's afraid that I might turn out to be an old maid and living a lonely life. But for now, I have no time for a lovelife because I am so busy with law school. But I'm not closing my doors. I can still date provided that the guy I'm dating is a law student like me so that our date will also turn out to be a study time. haha!

    Back to your reoccuring dream, I think that it is just normal to experience that. Me too I experienced that kind of a year after I moved on. Just ignore it. :)

    By the way, your heels and bag are to die for! Love the whole outfit! :)

    Love,
    Ericka from the Philippines of http://behappyblue.blogspot.com

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  20. Such a true and insightful take on love and relationships. You look so lovely and the heel are wow!
    Do visit my blog soon and I would love for you to participate in my First International Giveaway from Ozel Lifestyle !

    International Giveaway from Ozel Lifestyle
    Feisty Fox Diaries

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  21. Wyglądasz pięknie. :D

    Pozdrawiam,
    Kazik

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  22. wise words about love! loving your simple outfit.

    let me know if we can follow each other :D xoxo
    http://styleonmel.blogspot.com/2013/09/diy-lanvin-inspired-necklace.html

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