January 20, 2014

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Was it full moon or red tide last week? Because two of my high school friends and one of my ex got engaged.

Many people believe that life comes with a timeline and that you ought to achieve certain things at a certain age: first kiss, marriage, knowing what you want to be, having kids. But that's not true. Things just happen and nothing ever goes as planned. There's no rush to live. Stand up to what you believe. Don't force things. Because when it's right, it will happen.


The Different Kinds of Love

1. The Comfortable Love 
The person who gives us the comfort we need. You love him and you love being with him, but he doesn't light you up inside. It is groundhog day with him every day, but that is fine because you plan on marrying him and have kids with him one day, whenever it will be, because it is what society tells us to do. This is the love that we feel we 'ought to' settle for solely because society make us feel that we are 'at that point in our life'.

2. The Love That Changed You
The person whose love was too good or too bad for us that changed us. The person who challenged your values and ultimately made you decide what you really wanted and what is important to you. It didn't work out because you knew you couldn't compromise.

3. The Toxic Love
The one that made us 'not us'. The love that is immature, selfish, conditional yet contingent. The one whom you once put your life on hold for while he didn't care about you at all. You felt uncomfortable being yourself and he made you feel insignificant- yet you stayed. Everything was about him and never about you. He never fought for you or ask what you wanted. The love that stunts growth and is no different than a drug.

4. The Convenience Love
The one who is there and meet your needs. You love him and care for him like a good friend, but you know that is the most you can love him. Maybe he feels the same or maybe he feels something more, and maybe to him you are also a convenience, but that doesn't matter. You let him into your life because he is 'always just there' and serves a purpose. This love is no more than a stepping stone.

5. The Simple Love
The 'high school crush' where you quietly gush about him and listen to Taylor Swift songs with him in mind. You plan your schedule just so you can bump into him. It doesn't matter what his beliefs and values are. You just like him because he is, so cool. And so nice. And has a cool car.

6. The Love With An Expiry Date 
The person you met one summer. You two experienced new and foreign things together and had wonderful memories. It is the love with an expiry date, as you two lived in different places. You called it a fling but you cried when it was over. It's the love that you forget on most days but when you encounter certain things such as hear certain songs it brings back the good memories.

7. The inspirational Love 
The person you strive to be the best for. The person who you don't necessary have a reason to love, but you do. The person who you want to build something with together, and the one you fight for. They will make you believe in all the cliches about love. They are your chicken noodle soup on a rainy day. It is the kind of love where you don't know how it happened, it just did.

17 comments:

  1. Wowzers... I absolutely LOVE this post! Although, I'm married now I've experienced most of these so I can TOTALLY relate! I'm going to share this with my best girlfriend as she's going through some REA-LATIONSHIP issues and this should enlighten her situation. Thank you so much for sharing this it was right on time.

    Xoxo
    Lynn

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  2. Such a nice post and so relateable!

    I'm definitely glad that I've found the hubby now though :) The toxic love was definitely one of the lowest points in my life!

    x
    Phoebe
    Eat. Live. Love. Repeat.

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  3. I don't think there is an expiry date on when to fall in love... it can happen just like that... I don't think anyone should ever settle....♡ Great post !

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  4. I don't know if its bad but I put career on the line first over love.
    ^^" Xx

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  5. I just live life as it is and let things happen. Take risks and see where things go. If it works out, it will; if it doesn't... Oh well. I love this post. I guess in my last relationship we've experienced some of the kinds of love you have mentioned. Oh well, it was a 3year thing... xD


    xoxo,
    Gelleesh.com

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  6. No doubt many things happen in our lives without being planned. Usually one thinks falling in love ede a type of person but it does not, you must always stay focused on the things we want and who we care.
    xx

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  7. Hmm it really depends on the day, but I think the boy and I fluctuate between #1 and #7.

    Which of your exes got engaged? Text me. :D

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  8. I've had all these different types of love except for the inspirational Love. I'm hoping that that type of love will come to me soon.

    xxDenysia Yu
    http://thatlaitgirl.com

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  9. At every point in our lives, we experience stages of love. The important thing is, we learn from our feelings and actions... "when it's right, it will happen" :)

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  10. Things must be going great because you look radiant. My wife and I started with #5...once in a blue moon I worry what it evolved into for her. Long story. :)

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  11. Love is just LOVE, darling dear.
    Smile and hugs for you love.

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  12. I have experienced comfortable love, but it wasn't boring or stale. It was an outstanding relationship which worked brilliantly for both of us. That's when I thought that guy was someone who I was going to marry one day and I would have done had I not left my country to go to the UK. Now I am happily married with someone else. Our love is not as comfortable as I had with that other guy, but we get on well, we just have a bit more friction… :)
    www.minsbeautyequipment.com

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  13. Overall being who you are and always honest to yourself, the love cannot change us but most ppl tent to change themselves for the new lover. always being ture and then you will find the right one as I am now. When you have a sec plz come by to my blog, love to have you there:).

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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  14. Great post. Thanks so much for your visit and comment.
    xoxoxo

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  15. First visit and follow ur blog dy. Great post!

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  16. This is really sweet :) I love this post Julie!


    I experienced a few of those and I'm really happy and glad to be able to say I'm with someone that inspires me now. I finally landed on a guy that "makes me the better girl" and not necessarily the better guy :)

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