February 17, 2014

Family Day


Family Day. Something that is a holiday in Ontario and isn't until recently that it became a holiday in British Columbia as well. When I was explaining to my friend from Bangladesh that today was family day, he asked "What is a family day?"

It would seem obvious in the name itself. He should have gather the name of a day to be associated with family and a holiday, but no. "I mean, " he said. "What is the point of family day?"

So there comes the PhD Julie. "It is," I said, "a day where you don't go to work and you spend the day with your family, hence the name, family day."

"But you have no family here, why are you celebrating?" my friend asked.

"... I guess it means I can do whatever I want today."

Then he proceeded asking me what he should do today, because he really wants to emerge himself in the Canadian culture. I told him to just do something manly to make up for the lack of family. "Like snow shoe in Gatineau Park?" he asked. I said no, more like shoveling the snow from my driveway and washing my car. He didn't like that idea, so I told him to bench press random objects that stand in his way and take selfies with a tight tank and a baseball cap on backwards.

And then the waiter couldn't help but pitch in: "look, just go inpregnant as many woman on family day as possible. Isn't that the point of manhood anyway?"

Being into female empowerment I should have said something, but all I could picture was the time at a local fair in Victoria, BC where a male hamster chewed through his cage wall in the middle of the night and inpregnanted all 20 female hamsters next door. The fair keeper found the male hamster curled up in a ball, sleeping and exhausted in the morning.

Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all that's left for you to define yourself. Happy Family Day.