March 17, 2014

Easy Go

{Pictures via Free People}

There is nothing that last forever. 

Your job. Today at your manager-employee meeting, you might get an unexpected promotion, or you might lose your job.

Your car. When you drive home tonight, you might get into a car accident and total your current car.
Your health. Next time you go for check up you might find be diagnosed with some disease where you only have a few months to live.

Your luck. Next week you might win the jackpot and decide to book a one way ticket to somewhere tropical and leave the country for good.

Your friends. When you hang out with your friend, it might be the last time. It might be the last time you go over to their place and it might be the last conversation you have with them. People drift apart.

There's nothing wrong with friendships drifting apart. People change. People decide that they want other things in life. They go to college and decide they want friends in their faculty. They get into music and suddenly want to be around musicians all day. They decide they are fashion conscious and want to be surrounded by beautiful and fashionable people. They achieve what they consider success, and then they want to be around more successful and chic friends. They get married and decide that they want to hang out with more married and 'stable' people. They might decide to give up in life and smoke weed all day. Or move to some third world country and you never hear from them again. Change is inevitable and necessary in our development.

I've accepted that friends drift apart. It's natural. It happens very often. After a while the only communication you have with them is 'like' their Facebook post sometimes, not because you actually like it, but to support them in what they're doing that makes them happy, and they might do the same back.

But what I don't accept is how some people approach friendship drifting. Ignoring texts and calls for months. Deciding that it's okay to do something that might offend their former friend because hey you're drifting apart anyway who cares. Giving them the cold shoulder in public without them having a clue on your actual intention.

All that time your friend was there. Helping you move multiple times, getting out of her pajamas to visit when you're down, supporting your hobby, picking and dropping you off without ever complaining about gas prices, defending you to others when they talk behind behind your back, helping you pick up and load discounted furniture that tear and dent the leather backseat of their car.

Is a text saying "hey sorry I'm busy!" to gently brush it off, or smile with small talk in public when you bump into each other and then walk the other direction so hard for you to do? Is it so difficult to remain consideration and respect the former friendship instead of just outright surprising and pissing them off?

There is a more graceful and gentle way to drift apart. 

You owe your former friend that much.