March 6, 2014

Wings



{Wearing Burberry Nova Hearts boots, dress from Taipei, Sheinside sweater}

These were taken back in Victoria. If only Ottawa looks like this now. Yesterday I took out my spring clothes and my pants don't fit as well anymore. Admittedly I am sad. I am sad not because I gained weight. I am sad because I gained weight which caused me not to fit into my clothes. I like my clothes. I am also sad that none of my new weight have gone into my boobs. Aren't boobs just fat? So why aren't my fat going to where my fat should go?

I'm still regularly working out and running on the treadmill like I'm being chased by a bear but maybe my metabolism has started to slow down. Perhaps it's all the "Monday night is wings night" that is finally catching up to me. Why are the wings so small? Are they baby chicken wings? What's with these tiny drumsticks?

Sometimes I stare at the pile of bones and imagine if I was to thread them together to make a necklace. Maybe paint it orange and neon to make it socially acceptable. So when people compliment on it I can not only say that I made it, but that I ate it then made it. That's the type of thing I zone out about when my guy friends talk about boring shit like stocks and soccer. "Julie, do you want to sleep with me?!", one of them said this past Monday night after I made a sexual innuendo joke. Honey, if I want to sleep with you I wouldn't be eating messy ass wings in front of you.