May 26, 2014

Enchanted



{Photos by David Keochkerian}

I watched "Enchanted" over the weekend. It's a Disney movie about a cartoon princess who fell into New York City due to an evil witch's spell. Since it's Disney, everything eventually worked out and she lived happily ever after.

When we are young we believed the idea of happily ever after. We grew up thinking we're going to be a big shot and we're going to marry a prince. Somewhere between the age of 6 and 24 our dream job turned from being a CEO or a real life princess to a desk job and our man turned from being Prince Charming to a guy who leaves dirty dishes in the sink and watches too much sports. And that becomes our "happily ever after", but we are content with it. Because somewhere between 6 and 24 we realized that life is not like the movies.


Below are 5 'happily ever after' ideas that burst somewhere along adolescence:

1. Marry Someone Good Looking, Charming, Loving, and Rich 
That perfect person does not exist. The truth is there will always be something to compromise from them and from you. Relationship is hard work. You can't ask a career driven person to sacrifice an amazing career opportunity to choose being with you. You can't ask someone who just wants a loving and simple life to 'work harder' and become the next Wallstreet millionaire. If you did, congrats, you won the life lottery.

It's like this: Why would someone good looking and stinking rich want to settle down in their 20's instead of living large in New York or Vancouver? Would YOU want to settle down if you have the youth and the looks of a Victoria's Secret Angel and the wealth of Mark Zuckerberg? Would you even think about being in a relationship with others constantly throwing themselves at you? You would probably play the field and date through your options like a bag of chips. Just sayin'.


2. Love your Job
"Wake up everyday doing what you love or don't wake up at all", "If you don't love your job, get another one!". That's why I sometimes hate Pinterest. No one LOVESSS their job- Unless they are a living version of "A Real Housewife of _(enter city here)__", Kim Kardashian, Fashion Toast, or lucky enough to be a freelancer who run an enterpreneul business funded by their significant where their days consist waking up, working out, checking their e mails, making 3 hair barrettes, Instagram their hair barrettes, going to a client meeting at a restaurant where their bill cost more than what they make that day ("Oh but I have the potential to make lots when my hair barrettes take off!" they say), and calling it a day- I would love my job if that was my job too.

The truth is majority of people with paycheck jobs don't love their job. I like my job, and I've had enough shitty jobs to know that I appreciate my current job very much. But no one loves getting up on Monday morning and coming back from vacation to work. A job is just something to make ends meet, to pay for the bills, the food, and buy unnecessary things that make us happy.

You're not alone in this one if you don't love your job. If you know someone who LOVES their job and constantly tells everyone how great their job is, you have my permission to punch them in the face.


3. Having Kids 
That you can dress up, they will listen to you, do everything you say, think you're the greatest and eventually you two will be BFFS like in Gilmore Girls. No. That does not happen.

We are told by our parents to have kids repeatedly. I'm beginning to realize that having kids is not a perk in any way, it's just because our parents want grand kids. "Do you know how many BMWs I can have and how many vacations I can take if I never had kids?!" My dad would say, "So then I'm not going to have kids" I reply. He doesn't like that answer.

Some people want kids and others don't. Some just never seriously gave it a thought. There are plenty of reasons to have a kid or to not have a kid. And both are okay, because having kids is not for everyone.


4. Getting Along with Everyone 
In high school you have to be in close proximity with the same people for 8 hours per day for at least 4 years. Everyone is underage so the only leisure activities are watching Hollywood Blockbusters, secretly drink from your parents' liquor cabinet and gossiping. It makes it difficult to have a fight with someone without having others blow it out of proportion. So it makes sense that you would be 'friends' with someone you can't stand.

But we are of legal age now. The world is bigger. Friends come and go. Why is this person on your facebook when every time they post a "Selfie! #drunk #friends #hot #workout #drinkingnight #healthylife #followme" it makes you vomit a little in your mouth? They contribute nothing to your life other than occasionally raise your blood pressure. And you probably don't even see this person on regular basis.

You're not Ms.Super nice and friendly Cinderella that birds and squirrels make dresses for you. And you don't have to be. Someone will always find and say something bad about you if they want to even if you are nice to them. It's okay to cut ties with them and focus on other things.


5. Being Lifestyle Successful
We all have someone we know our age who remind us that we are worthless compare to them. They say things like "Just bought a Porche with my promotion that also come with a corner office", or "Going on another exclusive rich people resort at Turks & Caicos [that regular people our age can't afford with their salary, but we can thanks to hubby's family business]" on Facebook. Yet it's impossible to stop reading what they post because it makes you feel so horrible.

We live in a different era than our parents where there is little job security and people are overly educated for their jobs. Unemployment is high and the housing market is ridiculous. So it's okay to live out of cardboard boxes because you don't want to unpack in case you have to move again. It's okay to eat greasy $1 per slice pizza. It's okay to stay at home and watch Netflix instead of going to a trendy lounge with your friends because you don't feel like spending. As long as you're happy with yourself, that should be good enough.