May 26, 2014


{Photos by David Keochkerian}

I watched "Enchanted" over the weekend. It's a Disney movie about a cartoon princess who fell into New York City due to an evil witch's spell. Since it's Disney, everything eventually worked out and she lived happily ever after.

When we are young we believed the idea of happily ever after. We grew up thinking we're going to be a big shot and we're going to marry a prince. Somewhere between the age of 6 and 24 our dream job turned from being a CEO or a real life princess to a desk job and our man turned from being Prince Charming to a guy who leaves dirty dishes in the sink and watches too much sports. And that becomes our "happily ever after", but we are content with it. Because somewhere between 6 and 24 we realized that life is not like the movies.

Below are 5 'happily ever after' ideas that burst somewhere along adolescence:

1. Marry Someone Good Looking, Charming, Loving, and Rich 
That perfect person does not exist. The truth is there will always be something to compromise from them and from you. Relationship is hard work. You can't ask a career driven person to sacrifice an amazing career opportunity to choose being with you. You can't ask someone who just wants a loving and simple life to 'work harder' and become the next Wallstreet millionaire. If you did, congrats, you won the life lottery.

It's like this: Why would someone good looking and stinking rich want to settle down in their 20's instead of living large in New York or Vancouver? Would YOU want to settle down if you have the youth and the looks of a Victoria's Secret Angel and the wealth of Mark Zuckerberg? Would you even think about being in a relationship with others constantly throwing themselves at you? You would probably play the field and date through your options like a bag of chips. Just sayin'.

2. Love your Job
"Wake up everyday doing what you love or don't wake up at all", "If you don't love your job, get another one!". That's why I sometimes hate Pinterest. No one LOVESSS their job- Unless they are a living version of "A Real Housewife of _(enter city here)__", Kim Kardashian, Fashion Toast, or lucky enough to be a freelancer who run an enterpreneul business funded by their significant where their days consist waking up, working out, checking their e mails, making 3 hair barrettes, Instagram their hair barrettes, going to a client meeting at a restaurant where their bill cost more than what they make that day ("Oh but I have the potential to make lots when my hair barrettes take off!" they say), and calling it a day- I would love my job if that was my job too.

The truth is majority of people with paycheck jobs don't love their job. I like my job, and I've had enough shitty jobs to know that I appreciate my current job very much. But no one loves getting up on Monday morning and coming back from vacation to work. A job is just something to make ends meet, to pay for the bills, the food, and buy unnecessary things that make us happy.

You're not alone in this one if you don't love your job. If you know someone who LOVES their job and constantly tells everyone how great their job is, you have my permission to punch them in the face.

3. Having Kids 
That you can dress up, they will listen to you, do everything you say, think you're the greatest and eventually you two will be BFFS like in Gilmore Girls. No. That does not happen.

We are told by our parents to have kids repeatedly. I'm beginning to realize that having kids is not a perk in any way, it's just because our parents want grand kids. "Do you know how many BMWs I can have and how many vacations I can take if I never had kids?!" My dad would say, "So then I'm not going to have kids" I reply. He doesn't like that answer.

Some people want kids and others don't. Some just never seriously gave it a thought. There are plenty of reasons to have a kid or to not have a kid. And both are okay, because having kids is not for everyone.

4. Getting Along with Everyone 
In high school you have to be in close proximity with the same people for 8 hours per day for at least 4 years. Everyone is underage so the only leisure activities are watching Hollywood Blockbusters, secretly drink from your parents' liquor cabinet and gossiping. It makes it difficult to have a fight with someone without having others blow it out of proportion. So it makes sense that you would be 'friends' with someone you can't stand.

But we are of legal age now. The world is bigger. Friends come and go. Why is this person on your facebook when every time they post a "Selfie! #drunk #friends #hot #workout #drinkingnight #healthylife #followme" it makes you vomit a little in your mouth? They contribute nothing to your life other than occasionally raise your blood pressure. And you probably don't even see this person on regular basis.

You're not Ms.Super nice and friendly Cinderella that birds and squirrels make dresses for you. And you don't have to be. Someone will always find and say something bad about you if they want to even if you are nice to them. It's okay to cut ties with them and focus on other things.

5. Being Lifestyle Successful
We all have someone we know our age who remind us that we are worthless compare to them. They say things like "Just bought a Porche with my promotion that also come with a corner office", or "Going on another exclusive rich people resort at Turks & Caicos [that regular people our age can't afford with their salary, but we can thanks to hubby's family business]" on Facebook. Yet it's impossible to stop reading what they post because it makes you feel so horrible.

We live in a different era than our parents where there is little job security and people are overly educated for their jobs. Unemployment is high and the housing market is ridiculous. So it's okay to live out of cardboard boxes because you don't want to unpack in case you have to move again. It's okay to eat greasy $1 per slice pizza. It's okay to stay at home and watch Netflix instead of going to a trendy lounge with your friends because you don't feel like spending. As long as you're happy with yourself, that should be good enough.


  1. I love the photo of the pink flowers and the train tracks. I also really like the movie Enchanted. But it was fun reading what you had to say, especially the part about loving your job. I totally agree with you. The next time someone tells me that they totally love their job, I will certainly punch them in the face and say that you gave me permission. :)

  2. What you had to say is meaningful. Growing up is a journey of realizing that the things we are told in our childhood are unacheiveable. That we will never be princesses and that our significant others will not be perfect. Growing up means accepting the direction which your life is going to and wherever you will lead it to eventually. It is one of the most beautiful things, but on the other hand it can also be disappointing.
    What you have written down is what we all had to accept or what we eventually will have to accept sooner or later in our lives. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
    P.S.: I also like the pictures you added. I think they suit your post really well.

  3. Beautiful photos!

  4. These are some real life knowledge here!
    "As long as you're happy with yourself, that should be good enough."
    I've also seen the movie 'Enchanted' and I loved it :P Amy Adams
    did a great acting job if I must say! Xx

  5. can I just say I relate to number four like woah? going to contemplate life now...

  6. Damn, girl. You are so on point about everything here. You've really captured all the things so many of us have come to realize over the past few years, and I couldn't agree more with the "Having Kids" bit. And it's so true that many people are left disillusioned by Pinterest's standards of adulthood, etc. Everyone needs to find what makes them feel truly comfortable and happy, even if it's Netflix and cheap pizza. :)

  7. I love the list.. you hit the nail on the head... I love my two girls but I don't think anyone should have children if they don't want to... that is a personal preference. I like my job... not love... :)

    Great post as always :)

  8. LOL, you always crack me up, girl. The way you write is so honest and true, I like it.
    Yes, you're right, it's no use trying so hard making others happy and pleased if you are not.
    We have to be happy first of all and the right people will gravitate towards you that is content with yourself.

  9. Shucks, I only have 3 of the 4 traits--or 1 of the four, depending on who I should believe. Having kids took away at least one of them, possibly more. :D

  10. PS - I meant I'd be rich if I hadn't had kids (or gotten married). **sigh** lol

  11. The pictures are incredible!

  12. I'm actually not planning on having kids for at least a couple of years. And I'm definitely not planning on getting married yet. Once in a while, I browse facebook, and a lot of my friends are getting engaged, or having kids, and I'm like No thanks! I'm just not ready to make that big of a sacrifice and my uterus for a baby that's going to be taking up more than enough of my time, and life, at least for now.

    xxDenysia Yu

  13. Interesting post-I really enjoyed reading it! Unfortunately, we can't have the perfect life but in the end, who would want the perfect life anyway? I'd rather have a life filled with challenges to overcome... it is more fulfilling :)
    xo Olivia

  14. love the photos and I wish life was picture perfect ;(
    and thank you so much for your lovely thoughts on my past post!!
    Deeply appreciate it ;)
    My Lyfe ; My Story

  15. when i'm in middle school i got jealous whenever my friends got popular by girls and teachers, or when they good at sport. now i be friend with almost all types of people-girls, women, gay, playboy, men etc and now i totally regret it because some of them are jerks, sometimes they can be nice but sometimes they dont.

    usually i dont give a shit bcoz i dont want to ruin the friendship, but when i do it really pisses me off. being a 'mr nice guy' is really hard in real life and it's totally different from the movies.

    "sometimes it's not the people who change. It's the mask that fall off"
    i cant deny it...

  16. Yay for having kids are not for everyone! Huge responsibilities!! As for point 5, yup, it's ok to be contented with life. Not complacent but contented.

  17. Good advice, but I'm still waiting on my rich husband!

    I've been thinking a lot about my life expectations too lately. It's funny because our parents (at least mine anyway) grew up poor, married poor, and continue to live poor, but we Generation Y'ers grow up with all this feel good stuff from Barney and Disney about how you can do anything and be anything being thrown at us from day 1. And then when you grow up and enter the real world, it's like your whole notion of life comes crashing down around you as you hit, full force, into the brick wall of reality. I'm 25 and have been out of school for three years now and am still struggling to come to terms with most of things you mentioned above, except for Facebook since I refuse to open a Facebook account.

    On a happier note: I love these pictures! Absolutely enchanting!!

  18. I love the movie Enchanted. I really love twisted fairy tales. Esp knowing the original version of these fairy tales makes it very inspiring to see the other side of it.

    I also love all the wisdom in this post. They are all so true.

    Jo's Jumbled Jardinière

  19. I used to love Enchanted! It's kind of sad to think of how our ideals on men, work, and so on change with time because we become more practical. Sometimes I wish that I'll end up having a job life, but I have to keep reminding myself I'm not a Rumi Neely or Jane Aldridge.

  20. Lovely post, these photos are marvelous <3

  21. The pictures are beautiful. This is so true! As a teenager I know that for a fact. I guess it is just because we grow up thinking that everything we do in life has to be perfect and if its not then we have to move on but sometimes it is not that easy. Obviously everyone wants a really great job but even if you work at something that you enjoy you'll still have to make sacrifices

  22. The pictures are so beautiful, wow.

    Point 3, about having kids though, I know a lot people who have a relationship with their daughters just like the Gilmore Girls. So it's very possible. But you're right, having children isn't for everyone.

    Naturally Jes

  23. Honestly? Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one who loves her job. Like way too much. It's not just that, I think I'm in love with work in general. Work is the biggest form of distraction and I need to stay distracted.
    Much more than it's accepted and about number 5, really who hasn't thought of that? :)
    Great post btw x