March 31, 2015

Slowly Thawing




{Photos by Bigjonmedia}


Oh my gosh. The lack of updates. Life has been busy but mostly the freezing weather in Ottawa has been making me feel pretty uncreative.

It's true that you find out who your real friends are when you're at your low... Or when they're at their low and you're not. Misery loves company. And when someone is miserable and you're not, they try to bring you down.

Attitudes. I don't like attitudes. If you have a problem, talk about it civilly and privately first instead of being a stuck up shrew talking trash from behind.

Moral compass. One cannot say what they stand for unless they have been put in a situation where they get their moral compass tested. Talk is cheap. If you have never been in those situations, then you can't say what you stand for and judge others going through it. I can say I'm anti-guns and killing people all I want until I'm caught in a war zone. Then perhaps I'll have a new set of insights, or perhaps I won't, but I really won't know where I morally stand until then. So get off your high horse, and quit judging others' personal decisions that might not even have anything to do with you.

"This is who I am." or "I'm not going to change and everyone knows I'm this way" are not acceptable answers.

While having self awareness and standing up for what you believe in is great, people who often say those things in a confrontational manner are really just pure caustic and judgmental. They say that is who they are and refuse to change as a defense mechanism to excuse their bad behavior and their verbal diarrhea. They think that by saying "you should take me as I am" excuses their shitty attitudes and how they treat others. But the truth is- No. You're a giant asshole. Stop justifying your asshole-ness.

Then you get their jokes. Whenever they say something inappropriate, they'll follow it up with, "It was a joke!". Well, guess what, your joke wasn't funny. Every joke has some truth in it and it was a slap in the face. It was targeting at something personal and you intentionally did so. It was a plain douche bag move.

Lastly, the ones that say "I hate drama" are always the ones causing all of it. ALL of it. They are toxic assholes.


I'm so done with this.

16 comments:

  1. Seems like you've been going through a rough patch. Hope your doing better and working things out. I don't like drama, and I especially don't like the people who say they don't like drama, and then create drama on a daily basis. You're right, those people are toxic and you have to distance yourself from them as much as possible before they drag you into their drama filled rut as well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've been dealing with some rough stuff the past couple months too. Hope things are looking up for you. xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. And we stay away from these toxic people!
    I hope you are doing ok c:
    I sure love your necklace! Xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. you look really comfortable here! I love how blue, blue blue blue your eyes are. I like drama as long as it is non-emotional. Give me 6 hungry people and two hours to feed them on the spur of the moment. Give me a call where someone gets hurt and I need to react right away (not that I like people getting hurt) its more like I think I work well under pressure. Or maybe I just like feeling helpful. But emotional drama sucks. I just want to curl up in a ball and stay away from everyone because I can't function.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with that. Which is why I try to only hang out with one girl friend at a time. I don't try to bring in more than 3 into the mix. Drama always happens.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Julie, I adore you and your forth right attitude... people need to bend a little... and stop judging each other... what is good for me, might not be good for someone else... keep an open mind. I have had to stop taking to some people who only want to see it their way and no other way... it is sad, I think they have the right to fee the way they do but they don't have the right to impose it on others...

    By the way, your snow is melting? I am a tiny bit jealous, not of you but of Ottawa... we still have ice banks... it snowed this morning too... we are all just wishing it would melt now and please, oh please no more... we are not happy campers here in the Maritimes... I am seriously thinking of moving to BC in a year or less... haha... I am not sure I can take another Winter here...

    You look great my the way, so nice to see you posting xox

    ReplyDelete
  7. "I'm so done with this." Lately, that is my favourite sentence, too. Good that I have somehow gone back to the middle ages where there are no electricity and therefore no TV drama. Try it, it's pretty good lighting up the candles every night just to see if there are fluffs on the bed.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love your outfit. I've never experience such cold weather for long periods of time so i don't know how it can effect your mood but I can guess being cold all the time would be a damper! What you said is so true. There's a difference between how someone actually is and some stupid reason for mistakes or them being a complete shitty dick. I try my best to completely avoid these people or I'll make sure they know at some point what I think of them. These people have no empathy and think they're always right and they are infallible, complete retards I tell you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. like ur outfit, sweety))) xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. You know the people who have the best advice? Not the judgey ones who think they're perfect, but the people who did what they did to survive- to get through, who made mistakes, and made themselves better (and if not better---than at least more true to their own nature)---THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THE MOST MISTAKES;) always have the best advice.

    Friends are people who don't joke about you even if if its funny (and certainly if its not). They're the people who are there silently when you are being imperfect and screwing up being all beside you just, you'll get through it, and that's not who you are to me. They'll tell you if you being a B****to your face and then hug you. They'll never stab you from behind. That's friends.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Don't be like that, I'm one of those who hate drama... I usually just throw people out of the room when they start dramatising xD
    Nice look btw :)
    Check out my latest outfit post !
    XoXo Venoma

    ReplyDelete
  12. Those people are not friends. And thankfully we don't have to take those people as they are. They are free to say what they want and we are free as well--to associate with them or not. Not is a good choice. I have an acquaintance who frequently makes mean, inappropriate "jokes". When people don't laugh he makes it worse by saying it was a joke and explaining what he meant--which doubles the insult (we know what he meant). Last week I asked him if he says mean things like that to his wife--he's always claiming she's a *itch and I'm thinking she has a right to be.

    I am a gun owner. An anti-gun friend asked me if I would really shoot someone. My only answer is that I'm sure I would do it once (to defend someone). But I don't know how that experience would affect me. Could I do it a second time? Hopefully I'll never know.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yikes, sounds like you've got some toxic people in your life...
    I hear you on the "this is who I am" excuse. Ugh, that is the most frustrating trait. It's the worst excuse you could possibly use!
    Your rants always get me fired up...aha, hope you cut these toxic relations out of your life or are able to soon!

    Anyway, your look is awesome ^^ Haha, love the statement necklace!

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

    ReplyDelete
  14. What a lovely outfit! I really like your necklace ♥
    Amy xx

    Little Moon Dragon

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love everything you just said here - this was the exact relationship I just decided to get out of. Every single line.

    PS I the blue hues in this, especially with the grey. Perfection.

    ReplyDelete