April 23, 2015

Recovery




When a relationship burst into flames it is amazing how fast you go from loving someone to hating someone. It makes sense though. Both love and hate are intangible and equally illogical.

I will forget you. And not in a romantic way. It will happen and in fact, it has already began. It started that night from the way you treated me, and then you let it became unsalvageable days later because of your pride. Admittedly I've been sad, but time heals, and every morning I wake up feeling more and more indifferent about you and I.

I will forget what it's like to not look forward to seeing you on weekends. I will forget what it's like to kiss you and what it's like to want to hug you. I will forget what it's like to wake up beside you. I will forget what it's like to spend our entire day having fun doing nothing. I will forget what it's like to trust you, to count on you, and to need you. I will forget what it's like to even have you in my life in the first place.

A part of me still feel for you. But that part of me is being locked up in a lock box as I'm typing where in the next little while, I will conveniently forget the combination. Once the internal switch has been flicked off and this feeling is gone, it will never come back. Don't think that you're special and that I'd treat you and my feelings towards you differently. I have always been like this. It's kind of my super power.

So I will forget you where it counts, like how comfortable I feel when I'm with you or the thought of you and I being together for good. I will forget you in those places because I am already beginning to.

"Your father did not raise you to have a heart of a wolf so you could howl over losing a man."  

12 comments:

  1. how sad, and yet full of hope. Sad over the relationship that meant so much becoming nothing, but your writing has a lot of hope and strength in it for moving forward. Hugs :)

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  2. You have such lovely writing! I hope that everything goes well ♥
    Amy xx

    Little Moon Dragon

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  3. amazin pics!!!! oh, n this post.... every word is so powerful!!!! u'll forget everythin... u'll be happy)))))) xoxo dear <3 <3 <3

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  4. Oh my dear.. stay strong and be awesome.. Love your writings! I hope everything will be okay.. you are a strong buddy! so keep going smartly!
    Be happy! <3

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  5. Julie... I wish you could teach me how to do this... I feel for you but I love how you don't let it bring you totally down... (hugs)


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  6. Some mistakes guys can walk back from and some they shouldn't get the chance to walk back from. I don't know if it's human nature, a law of nature or science, but it's true. And it's also true that you're an awesome person. The guy who ends up your partner will be lotto-winner lucky.

    PS - These days, I think everything is science!!! :)

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  7. You have always proved yourself to be a strong woman, and I admire you for that.
    Right now it may be difficult, as there are fresh memories and remnants left to hurt you, but it certainly seems you can already see past that. Time heals all, and it's taken me longer, but it's true - you will forget, and soon, you'll be moving forward even fast than before.
    Sending much love your way! <3

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

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  8. Lovely pictures, great write up. http://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/

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  9. There's this saying that you're truly over someone once you forget when their birthday is. I have a really great memory, and I was with my first boyfriend for 3 years and couldn't imagine at that time how that would ever be possible. But somehow the years have passed and it did happen, and I can't remember when his birthday is.

    Lots of hugs for you.

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  10. I'm kind of like this. One of my ex's once asked me why I never told him I loved him, without him saying it first, and I just didn't know what to say to that. I was born hard, and I think it's probably something that I'm just used to being.

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