April 23, 2015

Recovery




When a relationship burst into flames it is amazing how fast you go from loving someone to hating someone. It makes sense though. Both love and hate are intangible and equally illogical.

I will forget you. And not in a romantic way. It will happen and in fact, it has already began. It started that night from the way you treated me, and then you let it became unsalvageable days later because of your pride. Admittedly I've been sad, but time heals, and every morning I wake up feeling more and more indifferent about you and I.

I will forget what it's like to not look forward to seeing you on weekends. I will forget what it's like to kiss you and what it's like to want to hug you. I will forget what it's like to wake up beside you. I will forget what it's like to spend our entire day having fun doing nothing. I will forget what it's like to trust you, to count on you, and to need you. I will forget what it's like to even have you in my life in the first place.

A part of me still feel for you. But that part of me is being locked up in a lock box as I'm typing where in the next little while, I will conveniently forget the combination. Once the internal switch has been flicked off and this feeling is gone, it will never come back. Don't think that you're special and that I'd treat you and my feelings towards you differently. I have always been like this. It's kind of my super power.

So I will forget you where it counts, like how comfortable I feel when I'm with you or the thought of you and I being together for good. I will forget you in those places because I am already beginning to.

"Your father did not raise you to have a heart of a wolf so you could howl over losing a man."