April 2, 2015

That Time You Mistaken Love For A Lesson




Forget love. Because they will never even like you as much as you like them. They won't think of you in any other way than the way they do right now- nothing more than a convenience and someone to pass their time with.

You can already see the end before it even begins. But you still try. Your friends and family have expressed their concerns but you do it anyway. It feels like a burden you willingly take on for yourself, because you have no control of what your heart wants and who you fall for.

Your feelings cannot change them. Your actions cannot change them. They don't like you nearly as much as you like them. Period. Nothing you do can and will change this. They have already made up their mind about you. 

You hang out. You go out of your way to do things for them. When they ignore you, you try to recreate what made them briefly interested in you in the first place. Perhaps they became interested because they were bored and you were right there. Perhaps they enjoy being a part of your lifestyle. Perhaps they like the things you do for them. But it is never about them being interested in you as an individual, and it never will be. They don't like you for you, but rather, what you can do for them. Yet deep down, you still hope that one day they will choose you.

You ask yourself what you can fix and what you can change. You invest in improving yourself to try to become the one they want. You start to compromise: you get new clothes, you change your hair, and you alter anything that you feel will get his attention. But you still feel flawed and feel that it is not enough.

Eventually they drop the bomb. They say it so clear of something you knew all along- that you are just as a temporary squeeze they will eventually leave behind. You are hurt because you might be falling for them, though they never ask you to do so. So you go on dates after dates, and never tell these dates that you are comparing them to someone else. You laugh and flirt and kiss others to try to replace them. To try to fill that empty void and the feeling of being unwanted. At first it won't work, but slowly it will. Because time heals.

After a while, you will realize that they don't deserve you and your affection. They were an illusion and an idea. You projected who you wish they were instead of seeing who they truly are.

Even though you cannot choose who you fall for, you can choose who you dwell on. Don't turn your energy into waste. If they won't put in the effort, then they certainly don't deserve your affection.

21 comments:

  1. Very good post! I think this is something every woman can relate to at least one point in their life. The quote "You can already see the end before it begins" really strikes me hard, because I've definitely been there, several times actually.

    Thank you for sharing!

    XO
    VanityPear

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  2. Love the picture!

    This post is so true! It happens to the best of us, and it always ends badly. Even though such relationships are doomed from the start, we carry right on to the end.

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  3. It happen to all but we all owe it to ourselves to stand up and look forward!
    Beautiful pictures doll!

    http://www.distinguisheddiva.com/

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  4. wow, how sad! and thought provoking and deep. Loved the last lines.

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  5. I know one awesome person who is real, not an illusion. That would be you! Don't change--especially for a crap-weasel.

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  6. That's how I felt about the last guy I was seeing. He was a complete idiot, and I cried for a week straight, until I realized that I didn't need him to make me happy.

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  7. So true, love the way you clearly expressed this, lots of us have been there at some point. The most important lesson I learned was self love.

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  8. Let me guess......Easter bunny?

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  9. cool pics n sooo cool post!!))) sad but truly story of many of us... our experience, our lesson of life... so hurt but so important becuz it makes us stronger!!)) happy friday, darling)))) xoxo <3

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  10. This is such a great post! We all need to learn to do things that are right for ourselves, not what you think might be ♥
    Amy xx

    Little Moon Dragon

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  11. Very well written and something that every woman can relate to at some point.

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  12. Truth! Also you look awesome.

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  13. Awe Julie... I know what you mean... my 'him' was an illusion of what I what I wanted him to be... One day I hope you and I find the ones that actually deserve us... You look so incredible xox

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  14. true! and you look so stunnig xx

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  15. like you blog!

    good post! thanks sharing!

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  16. Gorgeous photo! Sadly, we all know this feeling I'm sure. Sometimes, in these situations we must have the mentality of Samantha from SATC, she said,, "I love you ... but I love myself more!" haha. You should always know your worth. :)

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  17. you look drop dead gorgeous on picture! And very good post. So realistic that happens to all of us!

    www.yoannita90.blogspot.com

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  18. Yes,That Time You Mistaken Love For A Lesson ,Every one should have a try
    http://www.missydress.it/abiti-da-sera.html

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  19. Beautiful post, babe! I always think that if we tried to please everyone, we may end up pleasing no one.......

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  20. I believe you can choose to fall or not to fall for a person :) Great post anyway :)

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    XoXo Venoma
    Venoma Fashion Freak

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  21. Such a great post! You are a stunner babe! :)

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