May 6, 2015

Add Water

{Photos by Eric}

I remember feeling like you were different- especially after the things you have said and your late night text messages. You were suppose to treat me with love after I let my walls down for you. I remember feeling trusting and optimistic, and that comfort when I was with you. I don't feel that way anymore though.

I remember feeling scandalized when she smoked inside the house while her mom was at work. I remember thinking she was really cool and had life figured out. I remember feeling like I would never fit in because I was 'weird'. I remember feeling like I would be happier if I hung out with those people. I don't feel that way anymore.

I remember feeling invincible. I could have eaten junk food day after day and not feel sick. I partied every Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and was still able to get all my work done by Sunday night. I drank cans of coke and took shots of tequila like water. I remember thinking that I would never be tired of clubbing and flirting with strangers until wee hours in the morning. I don't feel that way anymore.

I remember feeling trapped living in Victoria, BC. I remember being more depressed everyday. I remember my breakdowns in my room. I remember feeling alone in crowded parties with people from school who were supposedly my friends. I remember thinking that there was more to a person than just their degree and career while watching my classmates look down on anyone different than them. I remember them eventually casting me out and tried to bring me down because I started perusing a different lifestyle. I needed to get out of there for the sake of my sanity. Thank God I got out.

I remember feeling like I had a list of things I would never do. I remember feeling that I would feel this way about them forever. My opinions would never change. I had drawn a line and I wasn't going to change it because that was what I believed in. Then unfortunate things happened along with life; I don't feel way anymore.

I remember feeling excited over something as trivial as hearing my favorite song on the radio or getting away with not paying for street parking. I remember feeling the butterflies when that cute guy finally kissed me. I remember feeling lucky that I was able to do the things I do, such as buy unnecessary things my parents would have never bought me as a child, and travel to places I only saw on the discovery channel when I was little. I remember feeling that everything would be okay eventually, and that time heals everything. Luckily, I still feel this way.

26 comments:

  1. wow!!!! im impressed!!! oh dear, i like so much ur blog becuz of ur amazin words, becuz of ur stunnin pics!!!)))) xoxo <3 <3 <3

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  2. I appreciate how open you are about your feelings. we are all human, I don't think there is a single person out there that is 100% happy. stunning pictures btw
    www.samanthamariko.com

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  3. Youuuuuuu. You're a stellar human being. I feel lucky to know you ♥

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  4. I can't remember anything! :)

    (except that you are an exceptional person)

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  5. these photos are fantastic! Reminds me of a lookbook shoot or something. Anyway I always enjoy how open you are on your blog.

    <3
    heather
    fashionistanygirl.com

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  6. growing up and finding out who you are is hard :) I remember too.

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  7. Julie... this was incredibly touching and honest... I so glad I found you through the blog world... you are so wise for your years and I have learned a lot from how open you are... I remember many of these things too... ♡


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  8. Wow, such a beautifully written post with gorgeous photos!

    http://ourruins.com

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  9. Your words are magical! I love how honest you are, you are simply amazing ♥
    Amy xx

    Little Moon Dragon

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  10. Awesome photography, dear! Very well-written post too :D

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  11. I like the way you describe "maturing" and "evolving" in feelings' terms, because it is what it is, nothing physical at all. Much love J.

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  12. You writing always speak to heart from the heart!
    I am glad to have read this post today!

    http://www.distinguisheddiva.com/2015/05/avant-garde-hat-by-marios-karavalisis.html

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  13. Great post ! Words, location, outfit : everything is perfect ! Thanks for your comment on my blog ! xox http://valeriesdays.blogspot.fr/

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  14. I like this! I wasn't expecting such open and interesting prose to be attached to this post. I think it's really cool that you're able to mix the two and have people be so positively responsive. I feel like I've felt a lot of the same emotions and I could totally relate.

    -M
    www.violetroots.com

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  15. Stunning pictures!
    Amazing words!

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  16. you make such interesting posts! I love your pics as always. The ground literally look like the ocean just "add water".

    www.yoannita90.blogspot.com

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  17. pretty
    dazzlingzest.blogspot.com
    keep in touch

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