October 21, 2015

Too Much

{Photos by Ian; wearing Free People jacket, Triumph bodysuit dress}

Sometimes I feel that I'm still emotionally young for my age. I am in no rush to get married and I am not even thinking of having kids. Actually, the idea of having kids lately terrifies me ever since my little sister moved in with me a few months ago for school. Victoria is great and I love my sister, plus, as a room mate, she is considerate, she helps me take great photos and she is clean and tidy. Overall, it's a blessing to have her living with me. But she is also a lot younger than me. And sometimes her logic on how to approach things drive me crazy, like what are you thinking, and why are you doing this in the most inefficient way ever.

I have discovered that living with a way younger sibling is tricky. Sometimes, I feel that talking to Victoria is like talking to a cat- it doesn't matter what I say, she will do her own thing anyway. As well, this is her first time cooking, doing laundry, and everything else outside of the comfort of our parents. Sometimes I feel like I have to switch my attitude from being her sister/friend to being her parent, which I hate, because then I sound like my parents, and no one likes sounding like their parents.

This whole thing got me thinking of having my own kid... I know that having a kid is rewarding, my friends who have kids say that all the time. I mean, I can imagine it would be rewarding. I have a dog and I think Janga is so rewarding, now times that by like a bazillion times with a child. On the other hand, you have to deal with the late night and early morning of attending a crying baby, your free time devoting to enriching a child's mind, and all your 'fun' income going to enrolling them in classes to "broaden their knowledge"... All that money, all that time, and then they might turn out to be someone who doesn't contribute to society anyway. Or they hate you for whatever teenage angst and become just a "holiday baby". Or worst, they become criminals, or drug addicts, or "those people we see on the news".

I don't know what got me on this tangent today. Actually, I do. I asked my sister to pick me up at the airport today in which I've told her weeks prior. Now there is all sorts of issues because she likes to do things last minute and has a mentality that things will just work themselves out without putting in any effort. A small task has become huge now.

So, yeah... I guess I'm not ready to have my own child. Yet.

The lovely jacket I'm wearing is from Free People fall 2015. I absolutely love it and it is so warm. Free People Sherway Gardens will have a celebration on opening day, Friday, October 30th from 6-8pm. The first 50 customers to arrive will receive a floral bouquet from Timberlost and Humble Bound. Hope to see you there!