December 18, 2015

It's Not Easy

{Photos by Victoria; Wearing Express skirt, Chanel purse, Badgley Mischka shoes}

Hi! Everything is in the holiday mood right now. People are busy buying things and getting ready to go meet their family. It really feels like my entire life had been double booked for the last month. I can't remember the last time I was so busy.

All of the sudden I'm eating way more desert and junk food than I usually do and drinking an unhealthy amount of soft drinks. I make lists of things to get done everyday at work, and then I sit there, stare at the monitor, grab any junk food around me and munch on, until it is completely dark outside and then I go home.

Weekends is also busy, with the holiday comes with a bunch of promotional work to do. While I don't have to work my extra jobs, we're all young once. If an opportunity of making money or making memories come up, then I take it. I have all the time to sleep and lounge around when I retire. Over the last year or two, I've slowly learned that if it's not making me happy or making me money, then I should I stop doing it.

My dog, Janga, is still my joy especially when I finally get home. He's my only other responsibility, which is great. Because when I get home, I make some fast dinner and lounge on my couch with Janga. I like that the dog doesn't ask me about my day or really ask anything from me other than a walk and to be fed.

People have new year resolutions on what they hope to improve. Whenever I get upset about where I am in life, I remind myself that life isn't like the TV or movies. You're on your own. You're not going to randomly meet some hunk at the coffee shop who will swoop down and save you, especially when you're a mess. You better keep your shit together- but when you fall apart, that's when you know who your true friends are. Those are all hard lessons I've learned. We aren't made up of episodes.

But I have started buying lottery tickets. Because as much as we all dream of winning the lottery, we can't win unless we buy a ticket. And hey, having 0.00001% chance is still better than having no chance.