January 11, 2016

The Ufuk In Cappadocia

{Wearing B Couture keepsakes necklace, Billabong dress}

Upon arriving at Cappadocia at 5am hoping to catch the sunrise with the air balloons launch... It was too windy. The balloon Gods were against us that day.

The drive to Cappadocia from Kyseri was straight and long, with endless rocks and dirt. Upon arriving into Cappadocia, we saw a few places with the word “ufuk” in their name- Ufuk café, Ufuk Convenience, Ufuk Souvenirs…

"Do they like to fuck here or what?" I joked.
"Well, I hear that in Turkey, you're only considered a gay male if you're the one receiving." Pra said.
"BAHAHA!!" Iya said.
"Maybe some guy just said that to you to hit on you." AJ suggested.
"Meh, it's just a penis, probably feels no worse than birthing a burrito baby in your morning routine." I said.

The rocks in Cappadocia were very unique. Due to the elements that the rocks were formed from, they erode a certain way- vertical with a bigger top. The rocks at one the places were called “chimney rocks” while the other place had camel and horse shaped rocks. We joined a tour to visit all of the rocky sites in Cappadocia. It was an afternoon looking at erected rocks that eventually all blended in looking like rockets, or let's be honest, penises. Surrounded by the variations of ufuk establishments, seeing dicks everywhere seemed appropriate.

Through the help of google translate, we eventually found out that “ufuk” meant “horizon”. But that didn’t stop Iya from messing with our tour guide. During one of our rides after our guide, Metma, gave a historical lesson on the importance of Cappadocia to Christianity back when they were being driven out and persecuted, Iya raised his hand and politely asked

“Excuse me, how does one say ‘horizon’ in Turkish?”
"Oh... Görüş." Metma paused for a moment and replied.
“But is there another word for ‘horizon’?” Iya was persistent.
“I don’t think so??”
“THIS WORD. HOW DO YOU SAY THIS WORD.” Iya pointed at his Blackberry screen. He was determined to make Metma say 'you fuck'.
“Oh, yuu-fook.”
“YOU FUCK!!! WOO!” I yelled, and we busted out laughing, partly because we're immature and there is something fulfilling hearing a foreigner curse in your language with their foreign accent.
“It’s yuu-fook, not you fuck! Yuu-foook, What do you think? There's an ifuk? Because no, there is no ifuk!” Metma joked.
All of the English speakers on the bus had a hoot. Meanwhile, I heard a whisper from my left side, it was AJ, “You two better tip him well now”.

It seemed that no matter what direction we drove in Cappadocia, it consisted vertical rocks. Rocks after rocks. Rocks that were hollowed out by early settlement to be made into forts or houses, or just regular dick rocks. At the museum, we walked through rooms and rooms and houses and houses of hollowed out rocks with nothing inside.

“GAWD, rocks and rocks and more freaking rocks!” Iya said.
“You got to have imagination, like this empty room we are in here, imagine a 60 inch TV and an Ikea couch… and that shady corner is where you would send your kids if you're mad at them.” I replied.

Just then, the guide took us to a side room where the entry was filled with people. "Now this used to be the church" he explained, "everyone go in and take a look!"

"Oh! Let me guess! Another hollowed out rock room! Oh boy!" I threw in a snarky comment. The weather was getting hot and I was starting to get cranky.
“Yeah like why don’t they convert this into fancy cave condos, or at least furnish this place so there’s more to look at then just rooms of nothing.” Iya said.
“Toilets will probably be hard to install and flush.”
"Yeah, and you can't put nails to hang anything."
"Yeah, and wifi would be horrible here"
“They can't change or furnish this place because it holds historical significance! Now get back in line with the tour.” AJ piped in, our lack of care for history and civilization have slightly offended him.
“Even the Flintstones had furniture…”

The last place we went to was a valley filled with more erected shaped rocks, but this place was called “The Love Valley” (the last photo above)
“Why is this place called the love valley?” I asked Metma.
Metma looked at me with an expression like Duhhh, isn’t it obvious, and said “uhm, have you looked around?!”
I gave him a blank stare the way you do when you're a foreigner and do not understand what someone is saying in their language.
“Jules, he’s trying to tell you that they are shaped like male genital here!” Arjun yelled.
“We've been looking at dick shaped rocks all day! This whole place is 'The Love Valley'!!”
“Well, these are all clustered together.. And circumcised.”

And that's the joy of traveling to explore different places. But after you get there for some time, you eventually become immune and stop noticing. We all took a bunch of photos upon arrival but less and less as the day went on. Eventually the rocks were just rocks and at the last few stops, I was busy looking for ice cream, Pra was busy finding washrooms while Iya was busy finding a shady spot to sit. When we got back to our hotel that night in Kyseri, all of our photos of rocks looking like animals, human, chimneys, merged into one giant “that day we drove 2 hours to see a bunch of dick shaped rocks, and learned our token Turkish word, Ufuk”. But it was completely worth it.